Jun 14 2008
Applying determination in the right place
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Most of us have tried to change our behavior at some time or other. Some people attempt this almost every day, becoming inspired about the whole new life they are going to live, making huge promises to themselves and to others, only to return to the exact same behaviors the next day – or around the time of the next meal, to be more precise. Our brains respond to the deepest hardwiring, and that revolves around survival. Once you get hungry or tired, or respond to the stress of living today, you are once again deep in the ruts you have developed in your mind throughout your life.
The idea that thoughts create our reality is true for this one reason if no other. We think the same things over and over, and our entire physiology follows that thought pattern, running us through our hours and our days. Is there anything that can actually change these patterns?
Some scientists say no. Research has shown a very thick resistance to any real change in the life of an adult. To find a way around this reality which affects every human, one must create new patterns and find many ways to trigger the new, more desired behavior which one hopes will eventually result in a different outcome. Pay attention to the last part of that last sentence.
“Find many ways to trigger…” This is the essence of giving mental energy to desired behaviors in a way that can produce real change. Some examples of triggering the desired thought patterns are posting notes for yourself, having a friend participate by calling you or sending you a text message several times a day, attending groups regularly who are focused on the same kinds of changes. To change your life, you must change your life. It would be wonderful if we could just make a promise to ourselves in a moment of inspiration and have that be the force that moves us through a change, but it does not work that way. If you are a person who wants to make change in your life, you may have read many books and articles on how to create a new reality for yourself. You tell me. Have you accomplished your new goal? Reading about and thinking about change are part of the same mental habit which you are trying to escape.
People who have actually managed to make real change in their lives have employed a series of new patterns over time. The new habits can replace the old ones, draining the undesired brain area of its energy while it is being diverted to the new thought processes. The most productive way to get rid of a bad habit is to focus on a new one and put active, enthusiastic energy into accomplishing it.
Is there something you’ve been thinking you’d like to do for yourself? How about starting a new habit today? What might that be?
Suzanna
July 4th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I’ve had some real success in some areas of my life with changes, and absolutely none in others. I like what one author says (forgot who at this point): A person makes a change when the pain of not changing is greater than the pain of changing. I have lost weight and kept it off for several years now. Sometimes I’ve used exercise and sometimes I’ve used diet. I do it more through diet lately because my blood pressure went up after never having had high blood pressure. But it’s not the type of diet that is counting calories! It’s more like, “I choose not to eat things with salt, because I want my blood pressure to stay low. I choose to stop eating when I feel full, because I want to keep my weight at the right place for me.”
When I’ve had the best success at changing is when I’ve put the change in positive terms of what I’m going to get because I’m changing instead of what I’m giving up because I’m changing. Then I don’t feel sorry for myself. Also, real changes come when you make a definite decision. People who are most successful in quitting smoking are those that go “cold turkey.” If you play around with something, you will get right back into those habits again.
I also have made changes in the area of diet when I’ve seen the results of people I know who haven’t and what damage it has done to their ability to do things in life. I have too many things I want to accomplish in the second half of my life that I know I can’t do if I don’t take care of my health.
It all comes down to MOTIVATION (notice that it has a root meaning of move - motivation moves us in the right direction). Now, I just have to get motivated in some areas that I haven’t made the changes I want - (because deep down I’m not quite ready to do it and haven’t really made that choice.)
July 5th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Polly, thanks for your thoughtful articulation of how you make change. I totally agree, motivation is everything. I’m often aware as I write that I am trying to deeply motivate people, showing in the best way I can think of why it’s worth it, that it’s possible to make change, and how people are doing it. You make some great points here.
Suzanna