GREAT ADAPTATIONS

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TO: Boomers and the People Who Love Them

RE: Web 55.0

The Top 3 Absolute Must-Haves to connect with Boomers online.

#1. Language aptitude.

#2. Proficiency with words.

#3. Exquisite grasp of grammar.

Boomers learned language when language mattered. It still matters to us. I take a lot of liberties in my blog writing, but I never forget who could be reading. Actually, that’s one of the problems Boomers have when they start the process of online communication. Educated Boomers tend to write academically.

Perfection, Darling

Let’s take a minute here at this fork in the road. On the right, we have the grassy path of writing as we’re accustomed. Ah, grammar. Isn’t it pretty? See how perfect these sentences are, their shapely form, their perfect spelling? Come, reader! We nancy-dance amongst the darling buds! Sorry, Boomer. You’re going to bore us all to smithereens. Let’s go left into the bog.

Hey, we’re talking here!

Blogs are a conversation. Repeat after me: Blogs are a conversation. Nothing screams “newbie” like a thousand-word four-paragraph full-text post with nary a bold letter. Understand, my sister brother, a blog is not an online venue for printed matter. The human eye cannot traverse a screen as it traverses a page. Cannot, does not. See the right hand, twitching upon the mouse.

Here lies a lesson in reciprocity.

Boomers, step up here, and shake hands with the rest of the online demographic. That’s nice. Now I want you Boomers to promise you will attempt to be conversational, and warm up your blogging prose with some grammatical hijacking. Phrase-pulling. Short and punchy, epithetical delights. That’s right, mix up those words! Swagger around in your grammar pajamars! Tease us with meaning.

In other words, learn a new language out of the one you’ve used all your life. For the love of Pete, have some fun with it.

It’s your turn, you underage laptoppers.

Your assignment’s a bit different. You may hate this, but I’m going to ask you to read. Books. That’s right, I said books. One at a time. Bare minimum, one full book every two months. Fast track to articulate, Boomer-friendly prose: A book a week. And the best sources for your growth in language capacity? Classics. You knew that, didn’t you?

One last assignment for both of you.

Boomers, your job is to post a reply below, listing your recommendation for a book that is guaranteed to benefit language skills. Not too long, please. Youthies, you are asked to suggest a blog that you think demonstrates first-rate readability. Hint: Try to find something that doesn’t flash.

Now play nice, everybody.

Suzanna Stinnett